EMOTIONS....and where they take you.

First off, I would like to thank the two very lovely ladies who commeted on my last blog. Reading your comments was a great encouragment to me.
Anyhow, I know that it has been a week since I last blogged. My doctor put me on some new medicine last week that has made me even more emotional..Oh NO! I am on an high dose of hormones and wow I don't know how some women do it. I have never been on hormones before and am counting down the days until my perscription is up. I am a very emotional person and for me to be even more emotional is crazy! Anyhow, only 5 more days to go. In fact, as I am sitting here I have an episode of Full House on, and am crying bc Jesse's Grandpa died. Now, I do cry easily but that is a little drastic!
If I have learned anything through this week, it is that God made us very unique. I don't understand how people can not believe there is a creator. I was reading in Psalm 139 about how God formed us, and knit us together in our mother's womb. That is so crazy! I can't even begin to comprehend it. It leaves me absolutely humbled before the Lord. A little ashamed that I haven't taken better care of my body over the years. I always told myself that I would lose this weight by the time I was 30. Well, I turned 29 last month and it isn't looking that optimistic. I started a program/bible study through church, and during the first 10 week session lost 20 lbs. Well, we took a couple of weeks off, and with my birthday, going to visit family, this new medicine, I started making excuses again. We finally started back last Monday and when I went to weigh in and noticed that I had almost gained 10 of it back I was sick! I want to lose the weight. It is by far one of the hardest addictions I know. Addiction to food, impulse eating, emotional eating. It is hard to get motivated again. I was super emotional of course when we started back in Jan. It was a new, exciting, and I saw results. I started to get a little prideful, and was jumping ahead in my thought process.
Then I started to have this stran of health concerns. We went to the dr in March bc we thought we were pregnant. Well, while there found out we weren't, and the dr found a suspicious lump in my breast. Then it was off to a series of Dr's and a series of tests. Finally, thank God we found out that the lumps are fine. However, three months has gone by and still no answers for the other issues. Thus, I am on hormones, to hopefully throw my body back into cycle. Anyhow I have used all of this as excuses. I am upset, bc I wanted to be pregnant. I am scared bc I don't know what is going on exactly. I fear taht we might not get pregnat now.
So where does this leave me now? Still taking meds, praying for God to heal my body, and convicted that I have to start taking care of my body more. I know that I have to call out to God to help me fight this addiction to food. Addiction to bad habits. I am someone who doesn't snack on chips, sweets, any of that. I just really enjoy going out to eat. I love rich tasting heavy on the hip food.