Moving Forward

     For the past few years as January came I would try to find a word to focus on for that year.  2016 it was Resilience.  For 2017 my focus was TRUST- in God and in others.  As December was coming to an end I began to pray and think about my word for the coming year.  Well, after a lot of prayer and thought on the subject I actually chose the phrase Moving Forward.
    The past 4 months have been absolutely crazy and left me feeling a little stuck to be honest.  In September the decision was made for me to quit my job at Chase and focus more on my writing and ministry.   Scott, my fiance, and I had set a date to be married and now was thhe perfect time to step out.   God showed us HE was involved because the day after I turned in my notice I was offered a position with my church to go on staff.  It was exactly what I was praying for as far as only being part time and allowing me to spend time focusing on my writing.  4 days after that we found Scott back in hospital and facing the first of three surgeries and between the two of us a total of 73 days in the hospital.  We ended up canceling our original wedding date.  Let me tell you one of the biggest feeling I felt through that was stuck!  It was a feeling like I was on a hamster wheel.  I ended up with 2 hospital stays for infection and Scott ended up with a total of 5 hospital stays.  We both ended up going home with pic lines and IV antibiotics.  Scott receives his at home and I went for 30 days straight to an out patient facility for infusions.  Mine ended December 29th and we are still giving Scott his. It has been hard to concentrate on anything outside of health, doctor visits and how to get through the day.  There is always the thought that infection is back and we will end up in hospital again. However, it is time to MOVE FORWARD both in my ministry and my writing.
     As the majority of people after the Holiday Season ends begin to focus on fitness and nutrition more; I am no different.  It has a little less to do with how I ate during the holidays but more to do with how I stopped focusing on my health and fitness.  I was in the middle of training for a 1/2 marathon when I got sick and then Scott went into the hospital. It didn't take long for that to go on the back burner. So I will MOVE FORWARD in my training.  Although for now I am going to focus again on 5ks and just moving in general.  Nutritionally I just haven't been able to devote time or have much control on what goes in my mouth.  Between hospital food or eating on the go and being an emotional eater well nutrition went out the window.  So it is time to get that back in line.
  The last area where I really want to MOVE FORWARD is my relationships.  Obviously the stress of the past 4 months took a toll on Scott and we have had to really choose to move forward in our relationship. After cancelling one wedding date it was very hard for me to think about planning another.  However, I do love this man with my heart and believe God has brought us together.  So it is time to get married.  I can't live in fear that he will go back into hospital and we will have to cancel.  I also on more deeper level want to really become intentional in my relationships with others. I haven't done a great job of making time for those God has put in my life and I would like to do that.
    So as 2018 has begun, I am being brave and moving forward with the life and purpose God has for me.