Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Crazy journey that lies ahead

I am sitting here thinking about all the different topics that I could write about today. So many thoughts, and yet none of them seem appropriate or good enough to actually put out there for others to read. Some of them I feel are too private, but yet need to come out, and some of them or so stupid that I figure why waste the time writing them. Although I am reminded of something that I was told once, that if you love writing just write doesn't matter what people say or think about it just do it everyday. Now I do keep a journal and try writing in it daily. It has become both my safe haven, and my sounding board. I find it is the only place in the past 15 years that I have been completely truthful about my thoughts and feelings. I know that I can write down my thoughts and know that no one can judge them and I can't get in trouble or rejected for them at all.
I think perhaps today I am going to write about why I am choosing to go public with my journal and my thoughts. Like I said in my first blog, I know I have been called to be open about my past, my present and my future so that others can come to know the freedom that comes through Christ. I started writing steadily when I was 15. I had a rocky home life, and struggled with a lot issues. Well, someone suggested to me that I should start writing since it was something I enjoyed, so that I would have an outlet. Well, since that time I have done just that. Written about my struggles, my hopes, my dreams, and my God. Many of you who will probably be reading this know me in some manner. Perhaps, we are friends, family, acquaintances or perhaps you just stumbled upon my blog by chance. If you know me then you know that I have gone through some hard times. Especially as an adolescent. I feel that I have gone through such things so that others may come to know the truth. As a close friend of mine has said 'JoDee you know that things are never gonna be easy for girls like us'. Well, I totally agree with that statement. I am here to start telling my story. My prayer is that God uses this for His glory. I think that this will bring peace to some issues from the past, as well as healing to those I have hurt along the way.
I will do my best to be completely open and honest with the stories I will tell. Not all the days will be filled with deep issues. Some days will be about whatever thoughts are running through this crazy mind of mine. I only know that I have such peace in knowing that this a step in the right direction for my future, for my families future. It is time that I start really running this race that God has put me in. I know God has plans for me, and together we are going to figure them out a step at a time.

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