The "happiest" place on earth

So this past week we were on vacation and I am thankful for the opportunity to get away and go to my happy place. I was able to go on vacation to Disney World for a week which really the happiest place on earth in my opinion. However, while we are on vacation friends who were traveling with us lost their grandmother unexpectedly, a friend from college lost her infant son, and a dear lady that I knew lost a battle with breast cancer. It reminded me that life is never to be taken for granted and to be grateful for every situation. It, also, reminded me of the Hope that I have of a future beyond this world and the urgency to want to share that with everyone I know. For in midst of tragedy God will make himself known and He will give us renewed hope of life with Him eternally. I am thankful for all that the Lord is showing me and teaching me right now in this season of my life. I believe that I am in a season where God is really pouring into me and I am growing spiritually everyday by the bucket full. I can't believe how much He must have in store for me because of the lessons I am learning everyday. I am also learning that these lessons aren't for my benefit they are to bring others closer to Him and the truth of His word.
There were so many times this past week when I wanted to quit my job and just move to FL and work for Disney World. For I do love being there and the joy of seeing people of all ages experience "the magic" for the first time. I love hearing the different languages and people represented there. I love that I can ride next to someone and even though we don't speak the same language we understand that each other and the joy we both feel. It is a joy that is contagious and I want to be a part of it. However, there is a bigger joy that I feel that is so consuming there are no words. It is an unspeakable joy that floods our hearts and spirits and that is the Joy that only comes from the Lord. It is far more greater than anything of this world and no matter how much I love Disney World it can in no way compare to that of the Joy of the Lord. It is the only joy that when in the midst of losing a child can cause a couple to be thankful and sing praises to the Lord. So I know that at this stage of my life I am being prepared for "work" sharing this Joy and this Love that consumes my life. I know the call that has been placed upon my life and even though the earthly treasures of this life are tempting they hold nothing on the Hope I have in Christ Jesus. He is my rock and my salvation and my life is not mine but was bought with the highest sacrifice and belongs to God to use how He desires. However, I can honestly say as I have gotten older and more mature in faith in God that the desire to do full time ministry is much larger than even the desire to work for Disney World....which has always been a life long wish of mine.

He is still working on me

So there has been this reoccuring theme in my life the last few months. It is choices....or maybe just actively taking ownership of what I do everyday. I have really come to believe that so much of what we do is a conscious decision requiring both thought and prayer. I also have seen God really work in areas of my life to bring Him glory and teach me lessons. I love when God shows up and teaches us a lesson or shows us more about us in areas we don't realize need it. I have really been doubting my leadership a lot the couple of weeks. Work was crazy and I was really torn down and doubting what I was doing with my life. I didn't know if it was the right carreer choice or what God was trying to show me. I still am a little confused and doing a lot of processing but have definetly seen God show His hand in everything. We are on vacation this week and I have seen how I am naturally a leader. I naturally take charge, plan things out and make sure they are executed properlly. I, also, have seen how those around me look at me for direction...sometimes literally as we have been navigating around a lot....but just to see what plans are or the actions that need to be taken. I have also seen that my fear of confrontation gets in the way. I know there are times that it is neccassary and that being a good leader means confronting what you need to. I look at Jesus in the synagogue or Jesus with the Pharasis. I look at the way Paul was speaking out against what was evil and confronting both the Christian and nonchristian community. It is all over the bible where men and women of faith have had to rise up and become a voice of truth and justice. There very nature of God is one that is both the Ultimate Judge and yet is the purest of love. I am very much a peace maker. I want everyone to get along and work dillegently at times to be the mediator in stressful situations. I still believe that there are times when I will be called to be just that a mediator. However there are times when I am called to to be more decisive in my decision making and times I am called to confront that which is wrong. I get very anxious when people are upset with me and try to avoid it all cost. However, I am really seeing how that tendency can cause myself and others harm sometimes physical sometimes not. When I was a nanny I learned very quickly how to discipline in a loving way and how to gain contol of the situation. It wasn't that I didn't love the girls but I was confident that my decision would be for the benifet of myself and them. I right now am trying to channel that same thinking when dealing with a staff or put into another leadership oppertunity. There are times when I will have to be stern and they may get mad and throw a fit but I know that I have the knowledge and training to make the right decision. Again, it is a choice I have to make to be the type of leader I want to be. It is also a choice I have to be confront that which is put before me whether I want to or not. I am just thankful that God is continueing to work on me and make me the person He desires of me. I remember a song from junior church when I was little and it so very fitting I will leave you with it.

He is still working on me
to make me what I ought to be.
It took Him just a week to make the moon and the stars
the sun and the earth and Jupiter and Mars.
Oh how special I must be..
for He is still working on me

Using my weakness for His gain

I have had the opportunity this week to see God work in more than one occasion. He truly is making opportunities to shine in my weakness. Through a situation at work not going the way I had wanted and a change that I had wanted ended up not happening God has opened up conversations about Him. I am so thankful to serve a God that can turn my weakness into His blessing. I was wanting to go to a larger branch but because of an audit that didn't go the way we would have wanted that is not going to happen now. I have had a couple of coworkers ask me what I thought or how I felt which has in turn left me having the opportunity to share my faith. This week has been hard to say the least. I have been humbled to the point of tears at certain points, and some hard conversations between me and some other people. However, all of it has been worth it to see God open up doors and conversations. When originally David and I talked about the possibility of me moving and what it could mean for us I was sure it was the right step for me professionally. However, I kept praying that if it wasn't God's plan that He would intervene. Even though, I will admit I didn't really want Him too and I wanted to selfishly have the "honor" of a bigger a branch. I had gotten prideful in the possible move and was really thinking only of myself. Well, God moved in a way that only He could have and like I said it is not going to happen now. I learned a big dose of humility but am so glad to serve a God that disciplines me with love. I can't believe how many times this week I have relied on Him and really prayed for Him to give me strength and calmness. I have really prayed over my employees and the other people in my branch. I am really clinging onto Him to see me through this time and to continue to show me those hard lessons. It is so neat though to see Him shine through and to think He loves me enough to want to work through me. I know that my steps are outlined by God and that when the right time comes He will place me where He wants. However He is still working on me and has plans for me where I am. I am thankful that He showed me that I am not as prepared as I thought I was and that I still have things to learn. I am thankful to have not been put in a situation that I couldn't handle. Most of all I am thankful for the peace of God that does transend all understanding.