I think it's really hard that blogspot asks me to think of a title. Sometimes I don't even fully know the path a blog will take. I start a blog with one idea in my head, but as I start to write a whole new topic is addressed. For the past 3 days I have been complenting the sermon from Sunday, and thinking/praying about how to respond. Trying to decifer what the Lord was speaking to me, and what I selfishly wanted to hear. I often relate to Paul when he writes in Romans 7 about the struggle of the sinful physical nature and the new life we have in Christ. I often refer to it as the do-do passage and I must say that has come to mind many times in past couple of days. On Sunday the pastor spoke about giving all we have....everything...for the work of the Lord. I keep asking myself what does that look like. I believe it is something that looks different for everyone depending on the how the Lord has called you. So I ask myself personally what does this mean for me? I know and have spoken about my desire to share my life openinly with others and for the Glory of God. I beleive that I go through certain stuggles because the Lord has allowed them and wants them to be used for His Glory and to shine.
I know there are a few areas that I hold onto very close. I don't like to share them out of fear, and knowing that going to the next level of vulnerablity is a scarry place. I ask for prayers and patience as I start to share about the inner places of my soul. The areas that I like to "pretend" are perfect. Pray also for David as these areas also effect him. I know God is doing a mighty work in our lives right now, and preparing us for a wonderful future in Him. I ask that you stay tuned and see what work the Lord can do when we are obedient.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Friday, August 19, 2011
What a week!
TGIF-right? I don't know if it is just me, but this week has just been long and exhausting. Not that I have a relaxing weekend ahead, but at least it will be filled with ones I love and a rejuvinating Sunday Service. I know it has been over a week since I last blogged, and I hate going this long. However, like I stated we do not have a home computer so this is not the most accessabile activity for me. I remember one time a woman told me to be obedient to whatever the Lord asks us to do, no matter how crazy at the time. I must say the passion to blog with no computer access is pretty crazy to me. However, I am sure there are a lot of Christ's followers scratching their heads right now puzzelled at how the path before them could possibly be God. Whenever I read Hebrews 11 I am blown away by the amazing men and women that paved the way before me. I can only imagine the amount of faith it took them to make huge steps of faith, and all God is asking of me is a little step to see where He can take me.
It's so easy to get lost in caught up in the life, and where it takes us. This past weekend I was sick and didn't feel good. Then I am working 6 days this week, my mom came into town, spent time watching my neices and nephews....etc....blah blah blah. Like everyone else life happens. So many times this week I have went to blog, or went to spend time in the word and just got busy doing something else or fell asleep. I just keep trying to remember Psalm 33 and 37, both speak about the joy of the Lord and the peace that comes from Him. I love Psalm 37:7a "rest in the Lord and wait patiently on Him." I love even just the first 4 words.....rest in the Lord...one version states be still before the Lord. Just the idea of truly coming before God and resting just makes my soul feel peaceful. Even as I type this and am thinking of all the outside pressures of the world, my soul finds rest and shoulders relax as I think of the peace the Lord provides. I know as women we often think of ourselves last. We are designed to take care of others and to want be busy just living and doing life. I just know that after the last 10 days of craziness my soul my inner being has longed for the rest that only comes when I am still before the Lord. My prayer is that all who read this may find rest if even for a moment or two that comes from no other place but the feet of God.
It's so easy to get lost in caught up in the life, and where it takes us. This past weekend I was sick and didn't feel good. Then I am working 6 days this week, my mom came into town, spent time watching my neices and nephews....etc....blah blah blah. Like everyone else life happens. So many times this week I have went to blog, or went to spend time in the word and just got busy doing something else or fell asleep. I just keep trying to remember Psalm 33 and 37, both speak about the joy of the Lord and the peace that comes from Him. I love Psalm 37:7a "rest in the Lord and wait patiently on Him." I love even just the first 4 words.....rest in the Lord...one version states be still before the Lord. Just the idea of truly coming before God and resting just makes my soul feel peaceful. Even as I type this and am thinking of all the outside pressures of the world, my soul finds rest and shoulders relax as I think of the peace the Lord provides. I know as women we often think of ourselves last. We are designed to take care of others and to want be busy just living and doing life. I just know that after the last 10 days of craziness my soul my inner being has longed for the rest that only comes when I am still before the Lord. My prayer is that all who read this may find rest if even for a moment or two that comes from no other place but the feet of God.
Monday, August 8, 2011
Confirmation and tests
So Sunday morning, I got a message from a friend and coworker who had read my blog and had been touched. First off to see that someone other than myself and my mother actually read this was wonderful. I was so encouraged and even more so that it was someone whom I know from my "professional" life. I have kept the two areas of my life separated for the most part. However, through a little obedience I see blessing people already. So that started off my morning, got to church and the sermon was on the same basic idea. I couldn't believe how much I felt the Lord just giving me conformation that He is working things out and this is His plan right now. What seems to always go along with God's Blessings....Satan's lies and attacks. I once had someone tell me "JoDee you know you must be doing something right when things seem to go wrong. Satan is not going to waste time on a Christian that's not making a difference." Well I must say that if yesterday afternoon is any indication than I must be in God's Will right now.
After leaving church Sunday we headed to the lake with some friends for a much needed afternoon of swimming and relaxing. I ended up locking my keys in the trunk of my car. I of course realized this just as I shut my door and locked my car leaving the alarm system to set itself. So for the next four hours David and I tried to get in the car. We did end up getting roadside assistance to let us in my door, however, the keys were in the trunk. The alarm system couldn't be turned off without the keys so I couldn't use the trunk release. So I got to enjoy the lake for about 10 minutes. David not at all. There was a point where I was trying to call AAA for the 2nd time that it started pouring. So here I sat under a towel trying to get my phone to work, and still unable to get my keys. It became almost funny because nothing was going right. So after 2 failed roadside assistance attempts and 2 failed locksmith attempts and sitting through a Severe Thunderstorm we were able to get ahold of a friend who drove us the hour home to get our spare key and hour back to retrieve my car. It took us a total of 8 hours before we were back home and relaxed.
There were many moments that I wondered why would this go on. I was on such a "spiritual high" after all. I left church ready to conquer the world, and instead felt like the world was trying to conquer me. However, I was reminded of God's word and that nothing could touch me. Romans 8:37-39 speaks about how we are more the conquerors even if I didn't feel like it at the time. I knew that I was and I could hold true on that. There were plenty of times when I could have broke down and I wanted to at times. However God helped me get through it. There are so many times when I get down trodden and feel like I am not going to be able to handle any more. However the Lord knows what we can handle, and He gives us the strength to carry on.
Now to take a moment to get just a little deeper and a little more personal. I struggled on Sunday with feeling like I wasn't loved. I grew up in a house where failure was not an option. So growing up I felt a lot of times that I was never good enough to be loved. I have struggled with being able to love and accept love especially from men. It took many years and a lot of healing from God and friendships with amazing women for me to look at myself through the right set of eyes. Part of being married is learning how each other deals in certain situations and work thru those. As I have blogged David and I have really been going trough a rough season right now, so I am sure that led to the overall stress that came on Sunday. I am not blaming David or saying he should have responded in a different way. After all it was a very frustrating situation. So I took his unresponsiveness and being quiet as his disapproval. It was hard for me to fight those inner lies that I had messed up so much that David was going to leave me and not love me. However, I have to remind myself sometimes audibly that all make mistakes. For all have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God(Romans 3:23). So I had my own inner struggle to call upon the scriptures to call upon God's love to remind me that I am good enough. One of my favorite verses is Zephaniah 3:17. It talks about God rejoicing in us and taking great delight because He is our Savior. It doesn't state anywhere that it His love is conditional. When I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior and believed that He paid for my sins by dying on the cross and rising again than I became a new creation. So even if David or anyone on this earth did leave me or decided I was never who they wanted me to be God never will. I am His and He is mine. It is hard though to always remember that, and in the midst of adversity when my insecurities are running wild that recalling scripture can get me through.
I know personally as someone who has hated myself and struggled to accept the Love that God has openly given to me that it is easier said than done. That is why I believe so strongly that the only weapon we have is the Word of God. I never understood the importance of memorizing scripture but to be able to have those scriptures to cling to really does save us. The Scriptures can bring us out of the lies of Satan and into the Truth of God. I hope that I haven't rambled too much through this blog, and if you are still reading than thank you. I pray you are as blessed as I have been. I just get very passionate when it comes to what the Lord does for me every day in every situation.
After leaving church Sunday we headed to the lake with some friends for a much needed afternoon of swimming and relaxing. I ended up locking my keys in the trunk of my car. I of course realized this just as I shut my door and locked my car leaving the alarm system to set itself. So for the next four hours David and I tried to get in the car. We did end up getting roadside assistance to let us in my door, however, the keys were in the trunk. The alarm system couldn't be turned off without the keys so I couldn't use the trunk release. So I got to enjoy the lake for about 10 minutes. David not at all. There was a point where I was trying to call AAA for the 2nd time that it started pouring. So here I sat under a towel trying to get my phone to work, and still unable to get my keys. It became almost funny because nothing was going right. So after 2 failed roadside assistance attempts and 2 failed locksmith attempts and sitting through a Severe Thunderstorm we were able to get ahold of a friend who drove us the hour home to get our spare key and hour back to retrieve my car. It took us a total of 8 hours before we were back home and relaxed.
There were many moments that I wondered why would this go on. I was on such a "spiritual high" after all. I left church ready to conquer the world, and instead felt like the world was trying to conquer me. However, I was reminded of God's word and that nothing could touch me. Romans 8:37-39 speaks about how we are more the conquerors even if I didn't feel like it at the time. I knew that I was and I could hold true on that. There were plenty of times when I could have broke down and I wanted to at times. However God helped me get through it. There are so many times when I get down trodden and feel like I am not going to be able to handle any more. However the Lord knows what we can handle, and He gives us the strength to carry on.
Now to take a moment to get just a little deeper and a little more personal. I struggled on Sunday with feeling like I wasn't loved. I grew up in a house where failure was not an option. So growing up I felt a lot of times that I was never good enough to be loved. I have struggled with being able to love and accept love especially from men. It took many years and a lot of healing from God and friendships with amazing women for me to look at myself through the right set of eyes. Part of being married is learning how each other deals in certain situations and work thru those. As I have blogged David and I have really been going trough a rough season right now, so I am sure that led to the overall stress that came on Sunday. I am not blaming David or saying he should have responded in a different way. After all it was a very frustrating situation. So I took his unresponsiveness and being quiet as his disapproval. It was hard for me to fight those inner lies that I had messed up so much that David was going to leave me and not love me. However, I have to remind myself sometimes audibly that all make mistakes. For all have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God(Romans 3:23). So I had my own inner struggle to call upon the scriptures to call upon God's love to remind me that I am good enough. One of my favorite verses is Zephaniah 3:17. It talks about God rejoicing in us and taking great delight because He is our Savior. It doesn't state anywhere that it His love is conditional. When I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior and believed that He paid for my sins by dying on the cross and rising again than I became a new creation. So even if David or anyone on this earth did leave me or decided I was never who they wanted me to be God never will. I am His and He is mine. It is hard though to always remember that, and in the midst of adversity when my insecurities are running wild that recalling scripture can get me through.
I know personally as someone who has hated myself and struggled to accept the Love that God has openly given to me that it is easier said than done. That is why I believe so strongly that the only weapon we have is the Word of God. I never understood the importance of memorizing scripture but to be able to have those scriptures to cling to really does save us. The Scriptures can bring us out of the lies of Satan and into the Truth of God. I hope that I haven't rambled too much through this blog, and if you are still reading than thank you. I pray you are as blessed as I have been. I just get very passionate when it comes to what the Lord does for me every day in every situation.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Deep thoughts by JoDee Schenck
LOl. When I was a kid I loved to watch Saturday Night Live....you know back when it was extremely funny and for some reason didn't seem so vulgar. So those of you who may remember those days will know what I am talking about when I refer to often deep but yet not so profound thoughts. I am hoping that this is not the case with my blog, but nonethelss I am sure it will not be too deep nor too profound at times. I hope it makes you think, perhaps ponder, but most of all be encouraged by the Glory of God.
I must first give a shout out to my husband. I have been married for going on four years now, and as in all relationships there have been good and bad times. However, my husband is the one who encourages me to write on a daily basis and is my biggest supporter of this blog. My prayer is that this never becomes a venting session where I put down my husband. I hold true to the Proverbs 31 a woman of virtue, and want to bring only good to my husband no harm. Well at least most of time.... anyhow the struggles we share are profoundly personal yet he is willing to let me share them for the sake of bringing God glory. I still believe that not all are to be open for public viewing but will touch on some personally hard areas for the both of us. We have prayed and talked about this and the goal is not to ever put down or "bash" David. He is my partner and I feel blessed to have him in my life. He puts up with a lot and I thank him for his love. Now don't get me wrong we still struggle and we have our issues with eachother and with this struggle of life.
However the covenet we share and made to one another has been stronger than any thing that Satan could bring our way. Believe Satan has tried but the power of God is so much stronger. In Eccliastes 4:12 God speaks of a cord of three strings is not quickly broken. I am so thankful for a God that has bonded David and I together and has held us both in the palms of His Hands. I write this in the midst of advirsity and as we are both in counseling with an amazing Woman of God who is helping us communicate better. The struggles we are facing are huge, and the world would say we should have given up by now, but we are not governed by this world, but by the Word of God. In time I will share more on this situation but the pain is real and deep and as a broken hurt woman I do not want to sin in my anger and my pain. I will say that God is truly the Ultimate Healer and the Ultimate protector of our life.
I am not trying to vague and I feel strongly about being open but the struggle to be vulnarble is one that is hard. If you read my posts from 3 years ago you will read about my personal persuit to accept the truth and be honest. It was a journey that took years to overcome, and still creeps up from the inner corners of my mind. I am now on the other side of the coin if you will. Call it Karma, call it payback call it what ever you want but its life. I would like to to call it the Divine will of God. The oppertunity that I have to have more compassion to another and patience to accept them when the trust has been broken. I truly believe we need to rejoice and hold true to James 1:2-4 because the struggles we find ourselves in and the abilty for God's light to shine through is a truely joyous occasion. I believe in this path has placed us on, and ask for prayers as God takes us to new heights. God has begun a new work in me and is seeing it to completion. Fasten your seatbelts and hang on because the ride is bumpy the outcome is unknown, but the journey has begun.
I must first give a shout out to my husband. I have been married for going on four years now, and as in all relationships there have been good and bad times. However, my husband is the one who encourages me to write on a daily basis and is my biggest supporter of this blog. My prayer is that this never becomes a venting session where I put down my husband. I hold true to the Proverbs 31 a woman of virtue, and want to bring only good to my husband no harm. Well at least most of time.... anyhow the struggles we share are profoundly personal yet he is willing to let me share them for the sake of bringing God glory. I still believe that not all are to be open for public viewing but will touch on some personally hard areas for the both of us. We have prayed and talked about this and the goal is not to ever put down or "bash" David. He is my partner and I feel blessed to have him in my life. He puts up with a lot and I thank him for his love. Now don't get me wrong we still struggle and we have our issues with eachother and with this struggle of life.
However the covenet we share and made to one another has been stronger than any thing that Satan could bring our way. Believe Satan has tried but the power of God is so much stronger. In Eccliastes 4:12 God speaks of a cord of three strings is not quickly broken. I am so thankful for a God that has bonded David and I together and has held us both in the palms of His Hands. I write this in the midst of advirsity and as we are both in counseling with an amazing Woman of God who is helping us communicate better. The struggles we are facing are huge, and the world would say we should have given up by now, but we are not governed by this world, but by the Word of God. In time I will share more on this situation but the pain is real and deep and as a broken hurt woman I do not want to sin in my anger and my pain. I will say that God is truly the Ultimate Healer and the Ultimate protector of our life.
I am not trying to vague and I feel strongly about being open but the struggle to be vulnarble is one that is hard. If you read my posts from 3 years ago you will read about my personal persuit to accept the truth and be honest. It was a journey that took years to overcome, and still creeps up from the inner corners of my mind. I am now on the other side of the coin if you will. Call it Karma, call it payback call it what ever you want but its life. I would like to to call it the Divine will of God. The oppertunity that I have to have more compassion to another and patience to accept them when the trust has been broken. I truly believe we need to rejoice and hold true to James 1:2-4 because the struggles we find ourselves in and the abilty for God's light to shine through is a truely joyous occasion. I believe in this path has placed us on, and ask for prayers as God takes us to new heights. God has begun a new work in me and is seeing it to completion. Fasten your seatbelts and hang on because the ride is bumpy the outcome is unknown, but the journey has begun.
The Beginning...the vision
Well, I said beware. I guess I should let you in on a little secret. I have no clue where this blog is going to go or what will be discussed. I have known for years that I want to reach out to women. I feel without a shadow of a doubt that my life is meant for something bigger. I have clung to the promises I found through the bible to deal with the everyday pressures of life. I know we all have struggles and we all have our issues. However, we are made for so much more. I just took a moment to reread the last blog I wrote in August of 2008. Almost exactly 3 years ago although some things have changed but other things remain the same. My passion and heart for ministy and to let my life shine for God has only grown. Another thing that has changed is we have an inside dog, a 12 year old rescue beagle whom I love with my whole heart. I fought to get her and sometimes I fight to keep her.
Anyhow back to the subject that draws me into writing public ally after 3 years. I have come to believe and trust in the fact that I am really fearfully and wonderfully made. I believe also that God knows the temptations and pressure that I feel and helps me stand up against it. I am told often that I am a strong woman, however, I feel so weak everyday. I wake up and pray for the strength to get through one day at a time. Plus, I cry out to God and my mom that about how I am not going to make it and the strength isn't there anymore. I hold true to Romans 8:28 "that in all things God works for the good of those who love him and are called according to His plan". See the reason I hold onto that verse is yes the obvious that God is working things out to be good. See to me that doesn't mean that I will be happy, or even that I will consider the outcome "good" at that moment. I am a very emotional person. Anyone who has been with me for more than lets say a minute would agree to that statement. I often times lead with my emotions and have a hard time getting my mind and my heart to line up. With that verse though I know that God has a plan.....a purpose and the good that comes in a situation is part of that plan...His plan. I am also a very analytical person who thinks and rethinks a situation. I often times have plan A, plan B, and a back up to both of those in case something happens. I am learning and I struggle with the only plan that I need to know is Plan G...God's plan and His purpose.
So why blog....why after 3 years am I going to be drawn back to this site. Well, truthfully because Joyce Meyers, Women of Faith, Beth Moore, all those wonderful women that I love to listen to and that inspire me have not shown up and my door and asked me to join them in their "crusade", in their path. Now you may be laughing a little at that statement but the truth is I keep waiting for that big moment. The moment when God sends the Dove to land on my shoulder so I will know that the time has come. The opportunity that comes that will lead me out of my "professional" job and into what I dream of and that my heart longs for. However, after listening to a just a little blurb of a biblical teacher the other day, whom I can't even remember the name of as I was just flipping through channels, she spoke of Ester and it clicked. I need to be obedient now, I need to share now. If I truly feel like I am made to share what I have been through and am going through then I need to do it now, to the women and people I know now. The women whom have made a difference in my life and I love. How many limits have I put on God and myself to say that I can't touch anyone. If my life can help anyone even 1 come to know the overwhelming peace that comes from God then it will have been worth the time and effort. You see I don't own a computer and I can only blog when I have access to this site at a friend or family members house. However, I want to see what God can do and what comes through obediance. I long to give Glory to God for all I have gone through and will go through. I believe as women we often times think of ourselves last and deal with an undescribable amount of pain that comes from lies and misconceptions. We often times resort back to those grammar school days of jealousy and tearing each other apart instead of building up one another.
I am taking a small step of faith and want to share my life with you. I want to invite you in past the empty smile, and awkward silence. I invite you to have a cup of tea and let me share with you about what wonders the Lord has done and will do. I had an amazing friend in college who in more times than I can ever count we would sit and talked about the Lord. At that point in my life, I wasn't at a place where I could open up my heart truly to someone, but she taught me so much about being a friend and being honest. So I bring you back to the couch at Owen Hall and say I am ready to share....
Anyhow back to the subject that draws me into writing public ally after 3 years. I have come to believe and trust in the fact that I am really fearfully and wonderfully made. I believe also that God knows the temptations and pressure that I feel and helps me stand up against it. I am told often that I am a strong woman, however, I feel so weak everyday. I wake up and pray for the strength to get through one day at a time. Plus, I cry out to God and my mom that about how I am not going to make it and the strength isn't there anymore. I hold true to Romans 8:28 "that in all things God works for the good of those who love him and are called according to His plan". See the reason I hold onto that verse is yes the obvious that God is working things out to be good. See to me that doesn't mean that I will be happy, or even that I will consider the outcome "good" at that moment. I am a very emotional person. Anyone who has been with me for more than lets say a minute would agree to that statement. I often times lead with my emotions and have a hard time getting my mind and my heart to line up. With that verse though I know that God has a plan.....a purpose and the good that comes in a situation is part of that plan...His plan. I am also a very analytical person who thinks and rethinks a situation. I often times have plan A, plan B, and a back up to both of those in case something happens. I am learning and I struggle with the only plan that I need to know is Plan G...God's plan and His purpose.
So why blog....why after 3 years am I going to be drawn back to this site. Well, truthfully because Joyce Meyers, Women of Faith, Beth Moore, all those wonderful women that I love to listen to and that inspire me have not shown up and my door and asked me to join them in their "crusade", in their path. Now you may be laughing a little at that statement but the truth is I keep waiting for that big moment. The moment when God sends the Dove to land on my shoulder so I will know that the time has come. The opportunity that comes that will lead me out of my "professional" job and into what I dream of and that my heart longs for. However, after listening to a just a little blurb of a biblical teacher the other day, whom I can't even remember the name of as I was just flipping through channels, she spoke of Ester and it clicked. I need to be obedient now, I need to share now. If I truly feel like I am made to share what I have been through and am going through then I need to do it now, to the women and people I know now. The women whom have made a difference in my life and I love. How many limits have I put on God and myself to say that I can't touch anyone. If my life can help anyone even 1 come to know the overwhelming peace that comes from God then it will have been worth the time and effort. You see I don't own a computer and I can only blog when I have access to this site at a friend or family members house. However, I want to see what God can do and what comes through obediance. I long to give Glory to God for all I have gone through and will go through. I believe as women we often times think of ourselves last and deal with an undescribable amount of pain that comes from lies and misconceptions. We often times resort back to those grammar school days of jealousy and tearing each other apart instead of building up one another.
I am taking a small step of faith and want to share my life with you. I want to invite you in past the empty smile, and awkward silence. I invite you to have a cup of tea and let me share with you about what wonders the Lord has done and will do. I had an amazing friend in college who in more times than I can ever count we would sit and talked about the Lord. At that point in my life, I wasn't at a place where I could open up my heart truly to someone, but she taught me so much about being a friend and being honest. So I bring you back to the couch at Owen Hall and say I am ready to share....
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Wow. After 3 years and many miles I am back trying to find my way into this ever public/private world. I have come to believe ever stronger than before that my life is God's. I want to honor God in all I do. It is the very core of me. I struggle with the wants of this world and the inner desires/inner longings of my soul. The part deep down where I know God is speaking to me. I am trying to obey and become the open vulnerable person I know God has made me to be. I want to lead the life he has for me, and ask anyone out in blog land to be patient and get ready to watch as new doors open and my life becomes lost as His light shines through. No there is no crazy actions going to be done, and I don't believe I have totally lost reality. I just am tired of saying I want to do full-time ministry and minister to women when I know my life is a living testimony to the power of God. The strength that we have to make it when the world tells you other wise. Be prepared
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