Well, I said beware. I guess I should let you in on a little secret. I have no clue where this blog is going to go or what will be discussed. I have known for years that I want to reach out to women. I feel without a shadow of a doubt that my life is meant for something bigger. I have clung to the promises I found through the bible to deal with the everyday pressures of life. I know we all have struggles and we all have our issues. However, we are made for so much more. I just took a moment to reread the last blog I wrote in August of 2008. Almost exactly 3 years ago although some things have changed but other things remain the same. My passion and heart for ministy and to let my life shine for God has only grown. Another thing that has changed is we have an inside dog, a 12 year old rescue beagle whom I love with my whole heart. I fought to get her and sometimes I fight to keep her.
Anyhow back to the subject that draws me into writing public ally after 3 years. I have come to believe and trust in the fact that I am really fearfully and wonderfully made. I believe also that God knows the temptations and pressure that I feel and helps me stand up against it. I am told often that I am a strong woman, however, I feel so weak everyday. I wake up and pray for the strength to get through one day at a time. Plus, I cry out to God and my mom that about how I am not going to make it and the strength isn't there anymore. I hold true to Romans 8:28 "that in all things God works for the good of those who love him and are called according to His plan". See the reason I hold onto that verse is yes the obvious that God is working things out to be good. See to me that doesn't mean that I will be happy, or even that I will consider the outcome "good" at that moment. I am a very emotional person. Anyone who has been with me for more than lets say a minute would agree to that statement. I often times lead with my emotions and have a hard time getting my mind and my heart to line up. With that verse though I know that God has a plan.....a purpose and the good that comes in a situation is part of that plan...His plan. I am also a very analytical person who thinks and rethinks a situation. I often times have plan A, plan B, and a back up to both of those in case something happens. I am learning and I struggle with the only plan that I need to know is Plan G...God's plan and His purpose.
So why blog....why after 3 years am I going to be drawn back to this site. Well, truthfully because Joyce Meyers, Women of Faith, Beth Moore, all those wonderful women that I love to listen to and that inspire me have not shown up and my door and asked me to join them in their "crusade", in their path. Now you may be laughing a little at that statement but the truth is I keep waiting for that big moment. The moment when God sends the Dove to land on my shoulder so I will know that the time has come. The opportunity that comes that will lead me out of my "professional" job and into what I dream of and that my heart longs for. However, after listening to a just a little blurb of a biblical teacher the other day, whom I can't even remember the name of as I was just flipping through channels, she spoke of Ester and it clicked. I need to be obedient now, I need to share now. If I truly feel like I am made to share what I have been through and am going through then I need to do it now, to the women and people I know now. The women whom have made a difference in my life and I love. How many limits have I put on God and myself to say that I can't touch anyone. If my life can help anyone even 1 come to know the overwhelming peace that comes from God then it will have been worth the time and effort. You see I don't own a computer and I can only blog when I have access to this site at a friend or family members house. However, I want to see what God can do and what comes through obediance. I long to give Glory to God for all I have gone through and will go through. I believe as women we often times think of ourselves last and deal with an undescribable amount of pain that comes from lies and misconceptions. We often times resort back to those grammar school days of jealousy and tearing each other apart instead of building up one another.
I am taking a small step of faith and want to share my life with you. I want to invite you in past the empty smile, and awkward silence. I invite you to have a cup of tea and let me share with you about what wonders the Lord has done and will do. I had an amazing friend in college who in more times than I can ever count we would sit and talked about the Lord. At that point in my life, I wasn't at a place where I could open up my heart truly to someone, but she taught me so much about being a friend and being honest. So I bring you back to the couch at Owen Hall and say I am ready to share....
No comments:
Post a Comment