Confirmation and tests

So Sunday morning, I got a message from a friend and coworker who had read my blog and had been touched. First off to see that someone other than myself and my mother actually read this was wonderful. I was so encouraged and even more so that it was someone whom I know from my "professional" life. I have kept the two areas of my life separated for the most part. However, through a little obedience I see blessing people already. So that started off my morning, got to church and the sermon was on the same basic idea. I couldn't believe how much I felt the Lord just giving me conformation that He is working things out and this is His plan right now. What seems to always go along with God's Blessings....Satan's lies and attacks. I once had someone tell me "JoDee you know you must be doing something right when things seem to go wrong. Satan is not going to waste time on a Christian that's not making a difference." Well I must say that if yesterday afternoon is any indication than I must be in God's Will right now.
After leaving church Sunday we headed to the lake with some friends for a much needed afternoon of swimming and relaxing. I ended up locking my keys in the trunk of my car. I of course realized this just as I shut my door and locked my car leaving the alarm system to set itself. So for the next four hours David and I tried to get in the car. We did end up getting roadside assistance to let us in my door, however, the keys were in the trunk. The alarm system couldn't be turned off without the keys so I couldn't use the trunk release. So I got to enjoy the lake for about 10 minutes. David not at all. There was a point where I was trying to call AAA for the 2nd time that it started pouring. So here I sat under a towel trying to get my phone to work, and still unable to get my keys. It became almost funny because nothing was going right. So after 2 failed roadside assistance attempts and 2 failed locksmith attempts and sitting through a Severe Thunderstorm we were able to get ahold of a friend who drove us the hour home to get our spare key and hour back to retrieve my car. It took us a total of 8 hours before we were back home and relaxed.
There were many moments that I wondered why would this go on. I was on such a "spiritual high" after all. I left church ready to conquer the world, and instead felt like the world was trying to conquer me. However, I was reminded of God's word and that nothing could touch me. Romans 8:37-39 speaks about how we are more the conquerors even if I didn't feel like it at the time. I knew that I was and I could hold true on that. There were plenty of times when I could have broke down and I wanted to at times. However God helped me get through it. There are so many times when I get down trodden and feel like I am not going to be able to handle any more. However the Lord knows what we can handle, and He gives us the strength to carry on.
Now to take a moment to get just a little deeper and a little more personal. I struggled on Sunday with feeling like I wasn't loved. I grew up in a house where failure was not an option. So growing up I felt a lot of times that I was never good enough to be loved. I have struggled with being able to love and accept love especially from men. It took many years and a lot of healing from God and friendships with amazing women for me to look at myself through the right set of eyes. Part of being married is learning how each other deals in certain situations and work thru those. As I have blogged David and I have really been going trough a rough season right now, so I am sure that led to the overall stress that came on Sunday. I am not blaming David or saying he should have responded in a different way. After all it was a very frustrating situation. So I took his unresponsiveness and being quiet as his disapproval. It was hard for me to fight those inner lies that I had messed up so much that David was going to leave me and not love me. However, I have to remind myself sometimes audibly that all make mistakes. For all have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God(Romans 3:23). So I had my own inner struggle to call upon the scriptures to call upon God's love to remind me that I am good enough. One of my favorite verses is Zephaniah 3:17. It talks about God rejoicing in us and taking great delight because He is our Savior. It doesn't state anywhere that it His love is conditional. When I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior and believed that He paid for my sins by dying on the cross and rising again than I became a new creation. So even if David or anyone on this earth did leave me or decided I was never who they wanted me to be God never will. I am His and He is mine. It is hard though to always remember that, and in the midst of adversity when my insecurities are running wild that recalling scripture can get me through.
I know personally as someone who has hated myself and struggled to accept the Love that God has openly given to me that it is easier said than done. That is why I believe so strongly that the only weapon we have is the Word of God. I never understood the importance of memorizing scripture but to be able to have those scriptures to cling to really does save us. The Scriptures can bring us out of the lies of Satan and into the Truth of God. I hope that I haven't rambled too much through this blog, and if you are still reading than thank you. I pray you are as blessed as I have been. I just get very passionate when it comes to what the Lord does for me every day in every situation.